ATTA Herne Hill Time Trial

Ryan arrived at Ali’s house on time! Yep, I thought that might get some of your attention.


In all my enthusiasm for Busselton Half training, I had recruited fellow idiots to ride out to the Herne Hill time trial with me. Ali and Ryan being said idiots. In true teaching fashion, I told them 6am and sent them the route out to Herne Hill. What I hadn’t done is actually look at it. So our ride out, I feared, may look like a smiley face when uploaded to Strava.

The 28km ride out was pretty cruisey, with a little entertainment offered from the guy watering on Beechboro Rd who shouted ‘see you at the crits’, well I hope he said that, because it does rhyme with some offensive words cyclists are often called.

Despite my lack of route preparation we actually arrived at the start early. Registered, toilet stop, chatting, asked if I’d assemble Jerry’s bike for him, yeh no…………………oh cr*p……….late!

Ali set off 1 minute before me. It was really good to see 11 women taking part.

For those of you who have done the Swan Valley Cyclo Sportif, the course was sections of that. So, some great tailwinds, some mean headwinds, and a slight incline that seems to hurt more than it should due to the rough road. It reminded me of my old buddy Lovekin Drive.

On the course I was overtaken by Jerry ‘The Fly’ Ghossein, who I ignored as I was in the zone (or busy counting to 100 over and over again), and Stu ‘TT Jedi Master’ Gee. I was so impressed with Stu’s technique that I tried to mimic it as he went past, this worked for a few minutes until I was exhausted. I hope I looked good for those minutes at least.

40km went surprisingly quickly for my legs, heart and lungs……………parts that contact the saddle, not so much!

In true SPR spirit, we all waited at the finish to see each other in. This is always the highlight of a TT, not because it’s over, but because of the myriad are excuses we all produce. I will not put names to quotes, enjoy:


  • I dropped my chain on the last corner
  • I pulled out as I was getting a flat
  • I have a slow flat
  • I did 100km yesterday
  • I did 106km yesterday
  • I think my wheel is rubbing
  • This is my first 40km TT


That aside, I think we all enjoyed it and were reasonably pleased with our achievements

So Ali, Ryan and I set off on our return journey, with better route knowledge. Is it just me, or do you think you’d go slower riding home from a 40km TT? We didn’t. I think Ryan sat up and turned around twice. Once to offer to carry the backpack I had, which was fully of everyone’s water, food, lights, heavy stuff. Second time was to mock that I was a whinging pom. I now felt like my saddle was in flames under me.

All in all, another fun morning at an ATTA event.

For those of you who would like to do a competition but are not comfortable with the idea of group racing, I cannot recommend these events enough. They are easy to register for, really well run, very laid back, results are up immediately, and they’re cheap too. The best bit is that you get a slice of fruit cake at the end.

Also, if you’re good with excuses you should come along too, you’d fit right in!

Their next event is 40km at Hopeland, on 3 March. Why not give something new a try.


5 thoughts on “ATTA Herne Hill Time Trial”

  1. Great write up Anna and I concur, it was a great fun morning down at ATTA {Always Tell Tales (about why you didn’t go faster) Association] I also heard muttered…..I was hungry – I didn’t get a muffin; I am unfit; I didn’t get to pump my tyres up…..

  2. A word of warning. The Hopelands course is incorrectly.
    “Lose all ye Hope-lands”is more appropriate.
    I’ll return for the 40km ATTA Championships the weekend after; but my excuse is that I will have just returned from doing the 3 Peaks Challenge (albeit a slightly easier variation).
    240km and 4500m climbing is a reasonable excuse….well??

  3. Nice write-up Princess Anna

    To add some truth to a couple of excuses..

    During the 3rd circumnavigation of Herne Hill galaxy, the evil Atmosphere Empire perpetrated a SiO2 attack on the XLab TT fighter’s forward rotating pneumatic stabiliser, penetrating the containment shield and stealing a quantity of compressed gas, thereby making navigation of the XLab fighter potentially treacherous and also hampering forward momentum. Fortunately, the incident coincided with a disconnect between the central command module and the main propulsion units, possibly caused by an increasing dissociation with the “Force”. Jedi Master assessed the risk of total failure of the XLab in the far extremities of Herne Hill galaxy to be unacceptably high (given the likelihood of of SiO2 and B’ee insurgents in the area), and so retreated to the safety of the mother-ship for some Psychologically Enhancing Discussion.

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